If there is one thing I learned about “grief” is that, it does not have a timeline. Grieving takes time, and no one can speed that up.
Grief is such an intense emotion of sorrow. It can be brought about by a loss of a loved one, the death of a beloved pet, loss of job and deep quagmire in finances, traumatic events, and divorce or a drastic change in one’s relationship. Since it is a very intense and exhausting emotion, people who are grieving find it difficult to heal because of:
Guilt – Regrets and guilt seep in when you start questioning yourself about past mistakes, things you could have said and done differently, and the feeling of being responsible for the loss can be overwhelming
Shock and denial – You may go on a retreat after a loss and you may feel suddenly indifferent because of disbelief. Your mind is telling you that things did not happen and you pretend they didn’t so you have a hard time coping.
Depression – You feel extreme loneliness, become restless, confusion, hopeless, and withdrawn. You may even loss appetite and energy to deal with the day-to-day stuff in your life.
Anger – You feel so angry and ask yourself why things happened to you. You feel injustice has been served to you and there is nothing you can do about it.
Lack of acceptance – You find it hard to accept the new reality of life without your loved one, or the drastic change in your life making it harder for you to heal, become optimistic and move on.
Healing is not impossible when you are grieving. You just need time to do so. And this the moment you need full support from your family and friends to help direct you to the healing path of acceptance, and letting go.
Enlist the support of your family and close friends
Opening up is a very difficult when dealing with grief. You should be able to find the family and close people you can trust to be able to talk about the sad feeling, and the experience brought about by grief. Communication is very vital to pave the way to your healing.
Allow yourself to grieve
This is one thing you should be able to do freely – grieve. No one should stop you to feel how you feel because it is a normal feeling to be sad when we lose someone that we love or we go through a rough patch in our life. Do not suppress yourself. Cry if you must. Get angry. Bawl like a baby. Acknowledge the feeling because that is part and parcel of grieving.
One thing at a time
Do not rush. Time is essential to heal and move forward. Give yourself plenty of that. No on should rush you to get out of that rut. If the day to day loads burden you and make it harder for you to function, try doing things one at a time like household chores, tasks at work, meetings, etc. If there is a chance to delegate work, then do so. Invite family and friends over to help you regain your focus and strength to do things that you usually do given different circumstances.
Grief is a very intense feeling and it can exhaust all of our energy and sometimes will. Get enough rest. Eat properly with nourishing meals. Nourish your body and your soul. Do some meditations. Go in a retreat. Treat yourself for a nice relaxing spa. Pamper yourself in little ways you can think of because you deserve to love yourself too.
Educate yourself about grieving
For some who are new to the experience of grieving, it may throw them off without knowing how to deal with it. Research the internet or go to the local library to read more about grieving and ways to cope.
Sometimes, we just need to get away from it all to be fully recharged and healed. If you feel you need some alone time to think clearly, and heal then going somewhere that is special to you may help in your recovery process. It will give you a new perspective so that you can return more in tune of yourself and stronger in dealing with the situation.
Our way of coping with grief vary but the feeling is the same for everyone. We may find it hard to accept our “new” normal but trust me, it gets better in time. Don’t rush going through your grieving. Allow yourself to grieve and be patient to yourself. And one day, you will find yourself smiling more, and crying less. Do not feel guilty because you are starting to see a glimmer of hope when you finally reach that point. Embrace that because you need to move on too.
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