I have been relieved for admitting my inner introvert that I have been trying to hide for so long. And now that it’s all out, I feel free! I feel liberated! I feel ME. However, not everyone really understands what it’s like in my own kind of introvert. Most of the people I know are super outgoing. I honestly tell myself that I admire them for being like that. They didn’t have to put an effort on most things because they enjoy the vastness of their social life while I enjoy the limited social life I have. Not that I don’t like what they do and what they are exposed to, for me, that is too much stimulation. I feel an outsider and I feel lonelier when it comes to forcing myself outside my small shell.
I don’t know how to tell my super extrovert friends how I feel right now. I miss them. I want to see them but my inner self doesn’t want to go out nor meet anyone. I mean, not right now. Not when I am still uncomfortable with my volatile emotions; not when I am still really lonely inside; not when I am still coping with my grief; and certainly not when I feel I am lost.
(My own watercolour artwork, © Ria Cervantes)
I don’t have any excuse for being me. I am not sure if they will understand but this is me. This is what’s happening to me right now. I just want to be at home, calming my nerves, doing my blog thing. Maybe, just maybe, I will snap out of whatever it is I am going through right now on top of my being introvert, then I can say, “hello again world.”
I hope they will still love me for who I am…
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