Why do dogs come to your life in a brief moment and yet, make you love them with all the love you can give for a lifetime? Why do they steal your heart and leave you so soon? Why?
Today is probably my worst day when it comes to making a decision. When I adopted Millie, I knew she wouldn’t be with us forever but I never imagined myself having to make that final decision for her when “it’s time.” It is something I kept pushing at the back of my mind because Millie is a very perky and fun loving dog. So, to see her in distress, not eating, losing weight, and being lethargic is very painful for me.
She has been sick on and off for few weeks now. It started mid-week of January when all of a sudden, her breath started smelling funky, she didn’t want to eat her favourite food and treats, she just slept most of the time, and drank water like there’s no tomorrow. So, I brought her to the vet last Jan. 22 for a check up. The vet didn’t take sample of her blood and told me it was tooth decay and probably some issues internally. When he said “internally,” I should have taken that cue and went to another vet for a second opinion. But, Millie got better for almost 2 weeks until last week, her symptoms came back and worse. She lost a lot of weight, has totally not eaten for many days, just drank water like a fish, and has been vomiting on and off. I took her back to a different vet this time who took blood tests… The result wasn’t good nor promising. It was my worst fears being reaffirmed in black and white.
All my suspicions have been confirmed with the blood test result. Her kidneys were starting to fail, and soon, it would be her liver. She is still not in pain but will soon be. And that is the very moment I had to make the hardest decision in my life. My hubby and I decided to let her take her “final sleep” on Wednesday. Her blood work was just not hopeful. There is no dialysis centre in Dubai to help Millie through and even then, there is no assurance she would recover.
I feel bad all over. I feel like I failed her. I feel like I am an awful person for having to decide that but I couldn’t bear to see her suffer for long. I want to be selfish. I want her to be with me longer, if possible, forever. But that’s not how it all works. I have to let go…
Come Wednesday, Feb. 10, I will say my good-bye to my most favourite dog in the planet. She is not my dog. She is my family. We have her for the last 6 years; 6 years full of happiness and unconditional love that our Millie could ever give us. The more I am with her, the more I realise how genuine a dog’s love is. And for as long as I will live, I will always have my Millie in my heart. There can never be another Millie for me.
I LOVE YOU MILLIE. ON WEDNESDAY, MUCH AS IT WILL CRUSH MY HEART INTO MILLION PIECES, I HAVE TO LET YOU GO. SO RUN FREE AND FEEL NO PAIN ANYMORE. YOU HAVE BEEN A VERY, VERY GOOD DOG MILLIE. YES YOU ARE…
Update – 9 Feb. 2016:
Millie has crossed the rainbow bridge today, Feb. 9, 2016 in the afternoon. She was starting to suffer and was not getting any better. We decided to take her back to the vet and say our final goodbyes.
I am missing her already… badly.
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I’m so sorry. I just lost my sweet boy a couple days before Christmas. My heart still hurts so much but I have to keep telling myself that he’s not in pain anymore. I’m praying for you.
February 8, 2016 at 11:10 pmThank you Hollie. The decision was very painful to make but necessary. I am also sorry for your loss. Losing our fur babies is never easy. Some people think they are just pets, but honestly, they are more than that. They are family. I can’t even think if we can replicate the unconditional love and loyalty our fur babies show us.
February 9, 2016 at 7:27 pmNaiyak ako, sis. My Chihuahua had kidney problems din a few months ago. I thought we’re going to lose her na. Sobrang nag-yellow na siya. Thank God my sister found an article online with the same case as my Patchie. Apple cider vinegar ang ginamot namin sa kanya. No dog foods, only rice and boiled chicken breast tapos hinahaluan ko ng 1 teaspoon na apple cider vinegar. Ayun, after two weeks lang gumaling siya. Nawala bloat and yellow sa skin niya.
It’s really sad to lose our pets. Totoo yan, family na natin kasi ang turing sa kanila.
Run free, Millie!
February 9, 2016 at 7:34 amThank you sis. Siguro, kahit na na-discover ko din yng ACV na therapy for Millie, we still couldn’t save her kasi nasa bad stage na sis. Nung December nano-notice na naman yng foul breath smell nya. But because we didn’t brush her too often, we suspected it was tooth decay. Kasi nung dinala namin sa vet, that was what he said BUT he did mention something about internal issues. However, he did not take any blood samples. So, gumaling temporary si Millie when she was given anti-biotic shots but after the medicine wore off, mas grabe na nangyari. She wouldn’t eat at all and since last night, she stopped drinking. So, we had to decide to take her to the vet today instead of Wednesday. I think we didn’t want to see her go that way. Nakakalambot ng tuhod and broke my heart in many pieces to see her like that.
The vet who admitted Millie today for her “final sleep” told us it was the best decision to do to end our dog’s suffering and with her age, there’s not much to be done.
I wish she was younger. I wish we could do more.
February 9, 2016 at 7:25 pm