My life is like a laundry. I put my dirty clothes in the washing machine, wash and rinse, and then the same process is repeated again when I run out of clean clothes to wear. And I go through this cycle regularly every year. It is becoming exhausting.

I haven’t been perky for sometime now. I am not sure if I have lost my “mojo” to be happy. Well, it all depends on how you define “happiness” compared to my definition of it. Happiness for me is when my family is complete, healthy, have no other personal issues to deal with and we are all together. Since my daughter went back to Manila, my life has just been topsy-turvy. Aside from not being with her for longer periods of time now, my mom has been sickly too and was in the ICU few days ago. I have been very happy briefly because my daughter is here right now for her summer vacation but come Friday, it’s bye-bye Dubai and Hello Manila again. This emotional roller-coaster is getting very taxing for me. And how many more times will I see myself go through this whole process again?

It is different when my daughter is around. I know what to do. I have motherly duties to fulfil and I have someone to actually talk to. And after Friday, it’s back to having stare-fest with Millie, our diva dog. It’s pretty boring and the silence can be deafening.

I wish I have done things differently before. I could have changed some of the things I wanted if I had done things with much care and thought but I have regrets. Time flies and it will be September already so I can fly back home and be with my daughter and mom even for a while.  I will need my emotional battery recharged by then.

 

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