It is not very common for me to be disoriented. Well, there are times that I find myself a bit confused with so much information to process, situations to deal with and emotions to keep in check. However, it has been different lately. Things and situations are just piling like Jenga blocks. I’m just scared that it may all topple and I won’t be able to handle all of it.

This morning, I found myself wandering aimlessly in the office when I arrived. I usually press the correct floor in the lift and get off in my right floor. This morning’s bout with a weird spell of disorientation is quite disturbing for me. My friend waved at me and gestured I was in the wrong floor and so I checked my surrounding only to realize she was right. I was 1 floor lower. So, I waved back and laughed at my little case of “absent-minded” moment only to be a bit concerned few minutes after. This is unusual for me. I am not tooting my own horn but I do have a sharp mind and memory but this morning, I began to doubt that.

My mind has been cloudy lately. I find myself “conversing” with God more often than what I have done in the past. I am praying most of the time that I remembered I was praying when I walked out the lift on the wrong floor. I suppose it’s not a case of being absent-minded or being too pre-occupied with mundane stuff. I guess it was me, soaking in the quiet conversation I have with the Lord. I was too focused and in the zone that everything was a hit and miss.

The hardest part of being in this aimless state is when you snap back to reality. It’s like waking up from a coma. I was disoriented, startled and confused for few seconds. Do I like the feeling? Not at all. It’s scary. I don’t like my mind to wander like that and I’m sure God will understand me if I will pray when I reach my work area rather than while walking.

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