There’s a book about this. I think it’s called “He’s Just Not That Into You.” If I am not mistaken. I haven’t read the book yet but I think I should so I can give you, young adults, a more solid advice than what I am about to share now. What I can offer you are some lessons in life I have learned while loving (or getting so infatuated to someone) and not being loved or even noticed in return.
I started feeling weird, you know, that funny feeling that stirs inside when you see someone. That feeling! Perhaps you could call it a serious infatuation or puppy love. Whatever it was, I knew it was a new feeling I haven’t felt before. There was this fellow from the other class whom I was very much attracted to. He wasn’t the best looking chap but he sure had those piercing eyes that captivated my young heart. I would become weak on the knees whenever he passed by. He would say hi every now and then but he never gave me that special time where he could talk to me at length or even ask me out for prom. I would see him talk to other girls but he would never talk to me the way he would others. I began to doubt myself. I had nights where I wondered if I was not good enough like those girls he would talk and flirt to.
I had countless daydreams about us being together. And as fate would have it, my dream came true one afternoon, after our class. He asked if we could talk. So my heart jumped and asked, “about what?” He said, “secret.” I could feel my clammy hands very cold, my heart almost leaping out of my chest. I tried to calm myself so it wouldn’t be obvious how much I liked this guy. I happily approached him and we talked outside his classroom. He didn’t mince his words as soon as I got near him. He told me he liked me and if we could be an item. For someone who was swooning over this fellow for the longest time, do you think I would even give it a second thought? Of course I said yes. Back then, I would have been called very modern but hey, I liked the guy and he was telling me he liked me too. Or so I thought…
I was happy being with this fellow for almost 2 months. We didn’t date. We couldn’t considering our age (wink!). We were an item and everybody knew that. Then something weird happened. Before we could celebrate our 2nd month anniversary, he decided to break up with me. I was numbed. I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity but all I was hearing was, “I never liked you. I was forced to court you out of a bet.” I was what?!?
Well, let’s just say the following days were all blurry and I hated all guys. They were all the same. And why would someone use me as their subject for a bet? Why me? But how did I manage to move on and stand up from this painful ordeal? I learned to love ME.
I’ll talk about how I moved on in another article but experiencing an unrequited love or that feeling that is never returned is a painful experience. It’s never a good feeling. Who would like to keep daydreaming and never see those dreams happen in reality? That would even leave you insecure and feeling “unpretty.” Don’t be. Shake it off. Cry if you have to but move on. If you have told someone how you feel and it is not being returned, there’s no point carrying the amber of that honest feeling. That person may just not be the right one for you at that time. It’s never an easy thing to feel hurt and taken for granted but trust me kiddos, you’ll get stronger in time. It’s just a guy. There will be more to meet and someone out there will be worthy of that true feeling.
So, if you find yourself in a position where you’re the only one feeling it and not the other person, let it go. He is not worth your time and emotions. Here’s something I penned today about unrequited love, “You don’t need another person to complete you. You will validate your self-worth.”
Always remember that you are worth every time, effort and devotion of another person too. It’s just not the time yet. “Don’t let an unrequited love keep you from finding a new one. If he does not love you back, move on. You will meet new people but give yourself some time to heal.”
Before I end this, that guy who used me to win a bet actually courted me back few years after when we were in college. He came back night after night at home to ask for my forgiveness and if we could pick up from where we left of. I didn’t shout at him nor humiliated him for what he did to me. I just told him, “You don’t deserve me.” I turned my back for the last time and left him outside our house. I didn’t see him again after that. Good bye and good riddance then!
I still had the last laugh…
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