My daughter is growing up and she’s already seeing the ugly side of human nature first hand from the people around her. Before our Japan trip, my daughter was the chirpy, phone-hogging princess at home but as soon as we got back from our vacation, everything seem very, very different. Well, I have to give props for my kiddo for really being stern to me about information. She just won’t spill but you can’t fool a mother, can you?

I can tell from her actions, the way she talks, her sudden quiet demeanor, the lack of phone callers and the more matured person around the house I am not so familiar with. It can be many things:

Mood swings

Nah! My daughter never throws her tantrums nor pulls the PMS card on us because she knows it’s not going to work. Besides, giving PMS as reason all-the-freakin’-time is not a good excuse to be nasty and actually get away with it. That means, you’re just very rude. Plain and simple! But, she’s not like that. She never shows us her nasty side even if she is in a bad mood. She just plugs her earbuds, Β sit in a corner, read a good book or sleep. Once in a while you can make out from her snarky remarks that not everything is rosy for her that day but generally speaking, she’s a good kid not because she’s my daughter but because SHE IS.

Studies

I think her studies is just not her priority right now. I can tell because I see her grades. And probably, I’m nailing on her head the rigors of getting in La Salle but only because I have to. It is hard to get in. I should know. I graduated there. I went through all these college entrance exams on my own without the help of my folks. She’s pretty lucky that I am supportive of her endeavors. I guess, she’s just having an overdose of MOMMY.

Friends

This is the one that bothers me (not her, I think!). I noticed that her close friend is not her close friend anymore. Each time I ask, she’ll just smile and say, “I don’t know.” Whatever happened while we were away? How can my daughter do or say something stupid if she was away for a week? Β I don’t want to pester her about this because I respect her privacy and if I can only fight her battles, I will. But this is not my battle to fight. I don’t know what happened in the first place. If there’s anything, I just hope that the people that she thinks are her friends will realize how good my daughter is because if she wasn’t a great and true friend, she would have told me.

I can sense. Every mother has that ability to “feel it in their bones” that something is off. I know there is. I just don’t know what, why and how.

Crush issues

I’m kind of blank here. My daughter is very good in keeping things to herself and she’s not comfortable to share such information. Ok, I’ll back off for a while. But I hope she will realize what her priorities are. There is a time for young love. Just not now or at least delay it.

The impending trip back home

I think this is one of the more evident reasons why she’s quiet lately. She’s been asking us to not send her back to the Philippines. But we all agreed on this one. It is a lucrative thing to spend that much money on universities here when you can get better education back home in a short period of time. I hope she’ll realize that this is just a temporary arrangement until she finishes college. She can always come back here.

 

Of all those I stated above, I think and feel that a lot of things are going on in my daughter’s life. Most of them I don’t know but I pray that she will be wise enough to choose her battles. If it’s friends that is causing her to be miserable then I think it’s best to let those who make her miserable go. Probably, they’re not worth her time and emotions. If its her studies, I hope she’ll know that this is the perfect time to hone her time management and organizational skills. Wait until she gets to college… And if this young love thing is making her act weird like this quiet maiden in distress then I am not liking any of it.

As a mother, it pains me to see how my daughter is being alienated by people she trusted and thought as real friends. If my hunch is correct that her quiet ways these days are the effect of a broken friendship and a young love gone sour then baby, you just learned your first lesson in trust and love. Never give either one of them quickly. And never, ever be someone you are not. You’re not born in this world to please everybody. Those who will like you despite of your imperfections are the ones you can call true friends.

Princess, there are plenty of fish in the sea and it applies to choosing friends as well. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some but the beautiful part of that process is, you get to keep the real ones next time.

Choose your battles anak. Not everything is worth fighting for. Sometimes, you just shrug your shoulders and walk away. Let it go, just like what Elsa of Frozen sang. Let it go…

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