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feelings

Clearing And Packing For The Move

I cannot recall the number of times we have moved places even when we were still in the Philippines. I thought I could count them in my hand but the truth is, I lost count already. What I don’t forget is the stress it brings me whenever we move.

I am getting to the point where I just want to establish permanent grounds now. I am seriously tired having to pack, clear stuff, move, then do it all over again. The process is driving me nuts!

I am in that stage again. Although this time, I am learning to detach myself from things we have accrued over the years of living here in the UAE. I am not even counting on the number of boxes we have sent back home, and the other ones we have kept in my mum and dad’s place, and oh, the ones too we have left in our in-laws. All in all, we have things here and there and I am getting tired of that. I just want to have a permanent place, one I can call home until my last breath.

Anyway, enough with the ranting and forgive me because I am just very tired. My back is aching terribly that I have to rest every hour. I have been clearing and packing in the living area since last night, slept for few hours and I am at it again. I wanted to throw 80% of our stuff, things I couldn’t remember we owned. I know I can sell them, and I have posted them online too. I am just not getting any calls or offers. I think, if nothing happens in my packing and clearing, those stuff will definitely go to the dumpsters.

I have yet to clear our bedroom. It is still in order, thank goodness. Again, I scouted our room and have seen so many things I haven’t touched for the last 12 months. Can I throw them too? Those are mostly my arts and crafts. I am just tired of it all. I mean, I know I have that compulsive disorder of buying anything artsy and crafty. Right now, my priorities have shifted. I prefer doing mostly digital stuff now, except for my watercolor and brush and hand lettering. I still have plenty of the craft supplies I bought in the US for my cards. I think my ship has sailed and may not go back to that art unless required. Any offers in buying all my craft stash? I have one luggage (small cabin stroller) filled with paper and fabric flowers, and lots, and lots of ribbons. Up for grabs, including the stroller hahaha.

Well, I will start clearing stuff in our room tomorrow after the guys from Takemyjunkuae.com comes to dismantle and dispose my 2 linen closets and 1 big and old TV stand. After that, I can use the space to arrange the boxes in order so they are not in the way.

I hope this move will be the 2nd to the last; 2nd in a sense that after this, we will be going home, where ever home will be. If it has to be back in the Philippines, then so be it.

The only consolation I have, in spite of the circumstances, is that, we are moving to a bigger flat which my husband and I have been praying for. And if luck would have it, we also got the flat that we joke about each time we pass by the building. We always see that particular flat with a nice and spacious balcony. I keep telling my hubby that how I wished we could move there one day. And guess what, the company offered the building for the staff. It used to be a residential building assigned for the flight and cabin crew. Now, it is for core grade staff and my husband was allocated one, the ONE.

I hope, my next post will be an update of the new place. I am excited and can’t wait to decorate the place. I just want to deal with the mess at hand for the interim.

Until then, tuh-tah for now.

 

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October 27, 2017
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It is Autumn!

Can I just rejoice right now because it is officially autumn? I love this season next to winter because I enjoy the cold season more than hot, sweaty days. I keep telling my husband that if I retire, I will be transplanting my cute bum in a cold country. And I am not kidding on that. I really love cold weather. And his wise comeback is a suggestion for me to visit Canada during the dead of winter. Then that serve as my litmus test whether I can or cannot live in a harsh winter condition. Let’s see.

For now, let me just enjoy the fact that some countries in this world is enjoying the cool breeze of Autumn. They get to dust their boots and take them out for a walk because it’s boots season too! My season!

This is my watercolor art. Please do not use without my permission. Thank you. ©Ria C

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September 23, 2017
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20 Years and Counting

(©Ria Cervantes/themommalogues.com)

Falling in love is an easy thing but staying in love is a different matter. My family has high mortality in marriages and growing up, I became very conscious and wary of falling prey to relationships that would fizzle. My late and beloved uncle even told me that in our family, marriages don’t last so I had to find a man that I would stay in love with for the rest of my life. That stuck in my head…

I dated my ex-boyfriend (now my hubby hahaha) since 1991. We started as acquaintance, became friends, and bam, next thing I know it, we were in the courtship zone. Our relationship wasn’t always that rosy. Heck, we fought most of the time because we had our differences, and we still do up to this day. However, one way of having a peaceful life together is to accept each other’s differences. We did.

Our differences make our marriage exciting. Sometimes it’s fun and there are times that those differences can be very challenging. We try to make it work and respect each other. I guess, the foundation of our marriage is based on love,  respect, and trust for each other.

We’re not the typical husband and wife tandem. Our social life revolves in different polars. He likes stuff that I hate. I love things that he doesn’t understand. He’s the Mr. Congeniality and I am the snob. He loves parties, and I prefer to read books at home. He is the super outgoing and I am the homebody. He is not the romantic kind but I am the hopeless romantic. I am artsy and he’s very hands-on.  But we both love to TRAVEL! Yet, we still get along. We are the classic poster children of “Opposite Poles Attract.” It’s that mutual respect and understanding that we already developed being together that keeps the relationship going. It may not work for some but it works for us. We have agreed to disagree on our differences and then we move on.

Staying in love is not a walk in the park. It’s like walking on the moon, you don’t know what to expect. We don’t have a perfect marriage. At times, he drives me nuts and I want to smack him sometimes but at the end of the day, he’s the only one I want to be with. He makes me laugh most of the time. He gets my craziness and bears with me with a smile. He is patient with me even and knows when to ignore me. He lets me be. He may not be the perfect man nor the knight in shining armor I have cooked up in my head but he is my man.

Celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary is like an achievement that I can happily claim. It’s not easy to stay in love, make the marriage work, and still enjoy each other’s company (even if I know I bore him at times). But one thing I can say is, my hubby completes me.

Here’s to the next 20 and more years of togetherness!

(MY FB post for dear hubby!)

 

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January 13, 2017
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The Holiday

I know, I haven’t been very active in my blogging activity lately and there are personal reasons behind it. I just try my best to get my groove back but it’s not happening at the moment. I guess, I seriously need to take a vacation, to get away from the stuff that choke me, and just to recover from the losses.

It’s been a rollercoaster ride for me. I don’t know how long I will be in that ride but I know I will get out of it.  The holiday season is just making it worse, feelings wise. It’s a different holiday this time. Much as I push myself to be happy, and really be excited for the same holiday season that my mum loved, I just find it hard to do so. I feel very empty right now. I still need to go on a holiday and fly back home to be with my family there. Maybe, I need all the change of environment even for a short while; a time to see my parents’ resting places, and be with my family for support. I could use some tender hugs right now.

Well, I hope that when the year ends, I can finally let go and leave the pains behind. I don’t want to carry these heavy weight in my heart to 2017. My family deserves to see me happy. I deserve to be happy… I know my mum would understand that.

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December 17, 2016
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No Updates

Posted in feelings, personal by

I’ve been very busy with work and other stuff so I didn’t pay much attention to this mommy blog of mine. I’ve been down with a flu too for several days and was in bed for most part. So, I guess, I’m still recuperating but have to prepare for tomorrow’s regular work and the start of the week.

There’s no updates here yet. I’ve just collating all my artwork and still doing my online Photoshop course which I still haven’t completed as of this writing. I’m just several modules away from finishing the course so I can get my hands on the more serious things of realizing my creative biz.

Anyway, just thought of filling this page up for a while even if there’s no significant updates happening. But, I will be sharing few of the watercolor “card toppers” I have created the past few days. I have decided to go handmade cards again this year as I missed to order my personalized holiday cards for 2016 which I should have been mailing by now. So yeah, my days are dragging. I guess, 2016 has just not been very good to me, personally and in all levels.

Ciao for now…

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November 12, 2016
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Parents’ Tough Love

It is every parents’ desire to see their kids grow up to be responsible, respectful, loving, compassionate, grateful, and God-fearing people. If they fail, we, as parents feel the pain too. Do we start loving them less when they stray? The answer is NO. But we need to let them figure things out when they trip and fall. We have to let them know the consequences of their actions when they compromise with their judgment. And as good parents, we need to let our children pick up the pieces, figure things out, and learn on their own on how it is to live in the real world, away from the protective cloak we have covered them while they were young.

We call it “tough love” but it is LOVE, nonetheless.

Some parents go easy with their kids when they stray. Some are strict and disciplinarians only because they want to correct and address the bad behaviour, the wrong doings, the untoward character that could blossom if left unattended. Does that make them bad parents?

Kids these days think they have everything figured out. I appreciate the younger generation’s point of view, and logical approach to situations in life. I respect them for that. But when someone questions our authority as parents, our expectations, our aspirations for our children’s future and well-being, and when someone tells us how we should be as parents, then you have definitely crossed the LINE.

This is for the younger generation of this millennia who think, talk, and feel that they know it all, “UNTIL YOU ARE NOT A PARENT, DO NOT LECTURE US ON HOW TO BE ONE.”

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July 31, 2016
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Picking Yourself Up

I was inspired by the ‘So You Think You Can Dance, Next Generation’ to write this post. I was just watching those super talented kids pour their hearts out on their performance to move on to the show. There’s this one kiddo whom I can relate to when I was younger and being bullied.

His name is Jarayn. He is very good in Hip-Hop but for that particular test, the kids were made to dance something that was out of their genre and comfort zones. I think they were asked to memorise a choreography for a Broadway-kind of dance stint. It is very obvious that the dance routine was really out of his elements so he struggled to keep up.  And after his stint, he bolted out leaving Fik-Shun (his team leader/coach) shouting from the sidelines, asking him why?

I was saddened to hear that Jarayn is a victim of bullying. I know that feeling. I was bullied too when I was in elementary, always being picked for my height, for my brains, for just being me. Jarayn was then let-go by Fik-Shun but has given him plenty of words to encourage him to keep pursuing his passion. Jarayn even mentioned something about how dance makes him happy. Fik-Shun told him that dance is there for him.  And the people gathered to give him a boost.

Well, if my younger “me” was there, I would tell him to cheer up, hold his head up high, and not to let those bullies get into him. Instead, pour his mind and heart to developing his passion further or even learning new skills. He doesn’t have to prove himself to his bullies. He doesn’t owe them anything. He must pick up the pieces of his broken heart and move on.

I can’t help but cry with him while watching the show. He is young, so vulnerable, and so intense at the same time. I know it is painful and difficult to be rejected in a place where you think you will be safe and where you get your strength, happiness, and security from. Kiddo, the real world can be cruel BUT that doesn’t mean you give up on your dreams. No. All the more you should develop and pursue it. Life can be tough and so is the dance world but never in your young heart and mind think that just because you failed one time, doesn’t mean you will always fail thereafter.  And as for your bullies, leave them be. I bet they don’t even know how to dance.

We all face rejections in life. I have had my many shares of rejections even up to this day but I guess, my resiliency (a better term for my stubbornness) just keeps me pushing and pushing until I achieve my goals and dreams. Rejections can either make or break you, use it positively to your advantage. Develop in your weak areas and you’ll be surprised how that rejection has made you a better, stronger, and a more confident person.

I learned to fend for myself at an early age, to fight my own battles and when to move on. Life’s like that. You win some, you lose some but you never, ever give up.

nevergiveup

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June 21, 2016
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